Tea with Hezbollah

Jesus, Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr., among others, all taught us to love our enemies. With this in mind, the authors, Ted Dekker and Carl Medearis, decided to see if it's possible to love one's enemies. Tea with Hezbollah, Sitting at the Enemies' Table, Our Journey Through the Middle East is the result of their exploration. The authors met with leaders of the Muslim world . . . often time the extremist Muslim world . . . to find out what they think about the "love your enemies" teaching. The authors wanted to know how they felt about it, did they think it possible, how is the non-Muslim world not loving them, etc. Tea with Hezbollah is an ambitious work to understand "our enemies" in order to love them, and perhaps, for them to get to know and love us as well.

This is not an "us versus them" book as evidenced by one of my favorite lines in the introduction:

We [the authors] are both Christian. We both cringe at being called Christian, because in both of our worlds, Christians are the bad guys who either slaughter civilians or destory civilization in the name of God.

The authors frequently inserted transcripts of their actual interviews with various Muslim leaders which was facsinating and lead to their credibility because they didn't always put words in the mouths of their subjects.

I would definitely recommend Tea with Hezbollah. You can purchase it here:
http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307588296

Giveaway: I have one copy of Tea with Hezbollah to give away. To enter the random drawing, please send your name and mailing address to seewhykinsman@gmail.com. The winner will be drawn Friday, January 22, 2010. Good luck.

Below is the summary from the publisher:

Summary:

Is it really possible to love one’s enemies?

That’s the question that sparked a fascinating and, at times, terrifying journey into the heart of the Middle East during the summer of 2008. It was a trip that began in Egypt, passed beneath the steel and glass high rises of Saudi Arabia, then wound through the bullet- pocked alleyways of Beirut and dusty streets of Damascus, before ending at the cradle of the world’s three major religions: Jerusalem.

Tea with Hezbollah combines nail-biting narrative with the texture of rich historical background, as readers join novelist Ted Dekker and his co-author and Middle East expert, Carl Medearis, on a hair-raising journey. They are with them in every rocky cab ride, late-night border crossing, and back-room conversation as they sit down one-on-one with some of the most notorious leaders of the Arab world. These candid discussions with leaders of Hezbollah and Hamas, with muftis, sheikhs, and ayatollahs, with Osama bin Laden’s brothers, reveal these men to be real people with emotions, fears, and hopes of their own. Along the way, Dekker and Medearis discover surprising answers and even more surprising questions that they could not have anticipated—questions that lead straight to the heart of Middle Eastern conflict.

Through powerful narrative Tea With Hezbollah will draw the West into a completely fresh understanding of those we call our enemies and the teaching that dares us to love them. A must read for all who see the looming threat rising in the Middle East.

Author Bios:

Ted Dekker is the author of many nationally bestselling novels, including Bone Man’s Daughters, The Circle Trilogy, Thr3e, and House, which was coauthored by Frank Peretti. His unique style of storytelling has captured the attention of millions worldwide. Visit him at TedDekker.com.

Carl Medearis is the founder and president of International Initiatives, LLC, an organization that promotes cultural, educational, and commercial exchange between the East and the West. He is an advisor on Arab affairs to the members of the U.S. Congress and leaders in international business.

This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

Book Review and Giveaway

Today’s book review features The Friends We Keep, A Woman’s Quest for the Soul of Friendship by Sarah Zacharias Davis.

It’s no secret that women need friendships – all women. We need to feel connected. We need support, love and understanding that men cannot satisfy. So why is it so hard for women to be TRUE friends? Why do women, especially in groups, tend to be catty, passive aggressive, judgmental, back-stabbing, and competitive? The Friends We Keep attempts to answer these questions. But rather than provide concrete answers, the author simply raises the questions, discusses them in detail and provides real life examples when women have succeeded, or, more often, failed to be genuine friends. Obviously, the answer to each of these questions resides only deep within in our hearts and minds . . . and it’s up to each of us to ferret out the answers and undertake to change the areas where we’re lacking. The hope is that if we can become the kinds of friends we desire, we will, in turn, attract like-minded women into our group. I really enjoyed The Friends We Keep; I only wish the book could have provided me the answers, and easy ones at that!

I have one copy The Friends We Keep by Sarah Zacharias Davis to give away. To enter the random drawing, please send your name and mailing address to seewhykinsman@gmail.com. The winner will be selected on Friday, August 14, 2009. I also have one copy of The Essentials of Effective Prayer Bible Study to give away (see below). You can enter for one or both of the books. Good luck.

Below is the summary from the publisher. You can purchase the book here:
http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307446114

Summary

During a particularly painful time in her life, Sarah Zacharias Davis learned how delightful–and wounding–women can be in friendship. She saw how some friendships end badly, others die slow deaths, and how a chance acquaintance can become that enduring friend you need.

The Friends We Keep is Sarah’s thoughtful account of her own story and the stories of other women about navigating friendship. Her revealing discoveries tackle the questions every woman asks:

• Why do we long so for women friends?
• Do we need friends like we need air or food or water?
• What causes cattiness, competition, and co-dependency in too many friendships?
• Why do some friendships last forever and others only a season?
• How do I foster friendship?
• When is it time to let a friend go, and how do I do so?

With heartfelt, intelligent writing, Sarah explores these questions and more with personal stories, cultural references and history, faith, and grace. In the process, she delivers wisdom for navigating the challenges, mysteries, and delights of friendship: why we need friendships with other women, what it means to be safe in relationship, and how to embrace what a friend has to offer, whether meager or generous.

ALSO, YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN THE FOLLOWING:
The 40 Minute Bible Study series from beloved Bible teacher Kay Arthur and the teaching staff of Precept Ministries tackles important issues in brief, easy-to-grasp lessons you can use personally or for small-group discussion. Each book in the series includes six 40-minute studies designed to draw you into God’s Word through basic inductive Bible study. There are 16 titles in the series, with topics ranging from fasting and forgiveness to prayer and worship. With no homework required, everyone in the group can work through the lesson together at the same time. Let these respected Bible teachers lead you in a study that will transform your thinking—and your life.

Titles Include:
•The Essentials of Effective Prayer •Being a Disciple: Counting the Cost
•Building a Marriage That Really Works •Discovering What the Future Holds
•Forgiveness: Breaking the Power of the Past •Having a Real Relationship with God
•How Do You Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk? •Living a Life of Real Worship
•How to Make Choices You Won’t Regret •Living Victoriously in Difficult Times
•Money & Possessions: The Quest for Contentment •Rising to the Call of Leadership
•How Do You Know God’s Your Father? •Key Principles of Biblical Fasting
•A Man’s Strategy for Conquering Temptation •What Does the Bible Say About Sex?

Kay Arthur, executive vice president and cofounder of Precept Ministries International has worked with her teaching staff to create the powerful 40-Minute Bible Studies series. Kay is known around the world as a Bible teacher, author, conference speaker, and host of national radio and television programs.

No Regrets

This past Tuesday, July 14th, marked the 9 year anniversary of my dad's death. I always tell people who have lost a parent, “When both your parents are alive, you think you can imagine how it will feel. When you actually lose one, you feel like you’re part of a secret club and you realize you couldn’t possibly imagine how it would feel.”

I hurt more now than I did when he died. It’s like when you first fall in love with someone and want to spend all your time with that person. When they go away for a day, you miss them. If they were to go away for a week, you’d miss them so much more. If they were gone a month, you’d REALLY miss them. With respect to the death of a parent, you miss them more as time goes on because their presence is missed more and more with each passing day, month and year. Plus, there are more “missed” memories . . . missed holidays, milestones, events you wanted to share, questions you wish you’d asked, etc.

I actually spent the last couple of days writing a "tribute" of sorts about my dad, but now that I'm done with it, I realize it's far to personal to post. So let me give you a piece of advice instead:

If one or both of your parents are alive, cherish your time with them, leave no question unasked, no story unheard, no advice unheeded. Try your hardest not to have any regrets when they're gone.

Empty Hands

I just wanted to share with you a quote from a book I'll be reviewing in a few weeks:

" . . . I know you are carrying this loss as if it is yours alone to bear. But you were not meant to carry such a heavy burden. Give it back to God and keep giving it back until you have no more grief in your heart to hand over to Him. Then wait and see what gift He places in your empty hands." Sisterchicks in Wooden Shoes! by Robin Jones Gunn

When I lost my beloved Persian, Sonja, a few weeks ago, I had such a moment. I was lamenting the loss of my cat which carried into the loss of all kinds of species from the Earth such as the polar bear (Unfortunately, I had a sad image in my mind from a movie). I was asking God to take away my feelings of pain and loss and remove the polar bear image from my mind. I felt God say to me, "How do you think I feel? They're MY creations! I love the polar bears and I love Sonja more than you can even imagine."

God cares. So what are you carrying in your hands that prevents you from accepting His gifts?!

Book Giveaways -- Reminder

Friday, February 13th, I am giving away two copies of Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, as well as one copy of each of the following books: The Love as a Way of Life Devotional by Gary Chapman, For Couples Only book set by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn, and I Do Again by Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs. If you would like to enter to win a copy of any of these books, please e-mail your name and mailing address to seewhykinsman@gmail.com. Please specify the title of the book you are entering to win or just tell me "any of the four" and I'll enter your name in all the drawings. If you tell me your favorite trait about your spouse or significant other, I will enter your name twice in the drawing(s) you request to increase your chances of winning. Good luck!

Let's Talk About S*X

Yesterday I reviewed several books about relationships, but no such discussion would be complete without talking about sex. Intimate Issues, 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex, by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, is a book about God's intentions for your sex life. "What do you mean? God cares about my sex life?" You betcha. Not only does He care, but He created sex as part of His gift to you and your spouse; He intended for it to be a crucial part of marriage.

I have often gotten on my soapbox about believers who become too religious for their own good. By that I mean they worry about their image to the point that they stop being real and authentic. They're so busy being a "good Christian" they hide behind a facade which is far different from the human being underneath the mask. As a result, they shy away from honest conversations about how they feel, what they think, their struggles in following Yeshua (Jesus), asking honest questions about God, etc. When you add to that the taboo subject of sexual relations, every Christ-follower feels completely alone on topics related to intimacy.

Intimate Issues is a great book to address all the questions you were afraid to ask or, in my case, all the questions you didn't even know to ask! When I started to read this book, I was a little irritated. I thought, "Why did I agree to review this book? I don't need to read this. I have an extremely open and healthy attitude about sex. I know God intended for us to enjoy sex within the union of marriage." Then I came to the subject of forgiveness for past sexual sins. Wow. I had no idea the condemnation I felt for things I did before I became a believer. I had asked God to forgive all my sins; I thought I'd forgiven myself. Boy, was I wrong! This book is leading me to freedom in that regard (I say "leading" as opposed to "led" because for many women, it's a process.)

It's true that the world is too permissive when it comes to sex, but it's also true that most in the church are too repressed, rejecting God's gift of marital intimacy and the important role it was intended to play in marriage. Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus gives the reader an opportunity to have honest conversations about sex in a God-centered environment. It's like talking to your two best Christian friends about the topics you may not be comfortable discussing face-to-face. In addition to talking about what God intended for the marriage bed, difficult subjects are covered such as healing from sexual abuse, what to do when your husband's sex drive is low, dealing with impotency, recovering from guilt of a past abortion, pornography, and other tough topics. This book is a great resource, one I dare say any married woman should read!

Below is the summary from the publisher and information on how to enter to win a free copy of this book:

Intimate Issues answers the twenty-one questions about sex most frequently asked by Christian wives, as determined by a nationwide poll of over one thousand women. Written from the perspective of two mature Christian wives and Bible teachers-women who you'll come to know as teachers and friends-Intimate Issues is biblical and informative: sometimes humorous, other times practical, but always honest. Through its solid teaching warm testimonials, scriptural insights, and experts' advice, you'll find resolution for your questions and fears, surprising insights about God's perspective on sex, and a variety of practical and creative ideas for enhancing your physical relationship with the husband you love.

With warmth and wisdom, authors Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus speak woman to woman: examining the teachings of Scripture, exposing the lies of the world, and offering real hope that every woman's marriage relationship can become all it was intended to be in God's design.

This book is available at www.amazon.com and other book retailers. I have TWO copies to give away. If you would like to enter to win a copy, please e-mail your name and mailing address to seewhykinsman@gmail.com. Please specify you are entering to win Intimate Issues . I am also giving away one copy each of the following books: The Love as a Way of Life Devotional by Gary Chapman, For Couples Only book set by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn, and I Do Again by Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs. You can request your name be placed in the drawing to win any of these books and, if you tell me your favorite trait about your spouse, I will enter your name twice in the drawing(s) you request to increase your chances of winning. All winners will be drawn on Friday, February 13th! Good luck!

Love is in the Air

Love is in the air! I have three books to review today and have one copy of each to give away. To enter the drawing to win, please e-mail your name and mailing address to seewhykinsman@gmail.com. Please specify the book you would like to win. Of course, you can request your name be placed in the drawing to win one, two or all three of the books. If you tell me your favorite trait about your spouse, I will enter your name twice in the drawing(s) you request to increase your chances of winning. Also, check back tomorrow for ANOTHER book review and giveaway! All winners will be drawn on Friday, February 13th! Good luck!


My longtime readers may recall last summer I reviewed For Young Men Only, a book to teach young men about relationships and what young women really think, feel and desire in a mate. The authors had previously written books for men, women, and young women. NOW, a box set is available, For Couples Only, containing For Men Only and For Women Only. These books are fabulous. The authors have conducted a scientific study to reveal the secret mind and heart of the opposite sex. It's impossible to read the book about your own sex without nodding your head and exclaiming, "Yes! Why can't my spouse understand this?" Just as it's equally impossible to read the book about the opposite sex without saying a million times, "Really? Is this really how they feel? How could I not know this?! Now their behavior makes so much more sense to me!" This book set is an excellent tool for one or both members of a couple to understand each other and improve their relationship and communication. Ladies, you'll even find out why men won't ask for directions . . . yes, there really is a reason and it makes sense, too. This book will definitely improve your relationship, communication and understanding of the opposite sex, and help you articulate to your significant other how you feel and why!

For Couples Only is available here at www.amazon.com and other booksellers. Below is the summary from the publisher:

Summary: Since their debut, these revolutionary guides have sold well over a million copies, been translated into fifteen languages, and sparked much fascinating water-cooler conversation around the country. Now together in the For Couples Only boxed set, these books provide the perfect resource to help you understand what you never knew about the woman or man in your life.

Each volume is based on input from more than a thousand members of the opposite sex—including an unprecedented nationwide survey and hundreds of personal interviews. This innovative approach yields candid and surprising answers about everything you don’t “get” about your significant other—even what that person deeply wishes you knew. It also produces simple but groundbreaking awareness of how you can best love and support the one who is most important to you.

So whether you are newly dating or have been married fifty years, get ready to know each other in a whole new way. The adventure is just beginning!

Cheryl & Jeff Scruggs share their story of marital restoration following an affair in their book, I Do Again. Cheryl and Jeff seemed to have the perfect marriage; “Ken and Barbie” is how they were described by friends. But their marriage was superficial and for a lot of complex emotional reasons, Cheryl had an affair. After ten years of marriage, they got divorced. Then they each became Christians and Cheryl became convinced the Lord told her to pursue reconciliation. Jeff did not hear the same message until years later, and seven years after their divorce, they remarried much to the delight of their twin daughters.

I Do Again is, of course, a book about building a God-centered marriage and the restoration, healing and forgiveness that can only be possible with God’s supernatural power. But it is so much more than a book about marriage. It is a book about spiritual maturity – both Cheryl and Jeff needed to develop into mature Christ followers before they could even consider being the type of spouses God intended them to be. It is a book about how we truly become new creations – completely new people – when we build a relationship with Jesus. . . and it is a book about how this transformation is not magical, easy, or something that happens overnight. Such transformation only occurs through the diligent pursuit of a daily relationship with the Master, learning and re-learning God’s lessons, and obedience to His will, not our own.

Finally, I Do Again is a book about pursuing the promises of God, even when you are weary, even when you have no worldly confirmation, even when you have no evidence God is working; in fact, sometimes we have evidence that seems contrary to what God has promised. Cheryl Scruggs’ perseverance (with falls, missteps, and sometimes backwards progress) for SEVEN YEARS really spoke to me. It encouraged me to keep waiting for God to be God and do what He promised, in His way and on His timetable in my own life.

Below is a summary from the publisher. I Do Again is available here at www.amazon.com and other booksellers.

Summary: With their professional success and adorable twin daughters, Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs looked like the perfect couple. But their polished facade concealed a widening chasm between two people unable to connect on an intimate, soul-deep level.

After years of frustration, Cheryl’s desire for emotional fulfillment led to an affair and, finally, divorce. Yet, incredibly, seven years later, Jeff and Cheryl once again stood at the altar, promising to “love, honor, and cherish” one another. A new and vibrant love had risen out of the ashes of this family’s pain.

I Do Again details the fascinating real-life story of a couple whose relationship seemed shattered beyond all hope until a spiritual awakening led them to reconsider their definitions of “happily ever after.” A riveting account of the power of prayer and redemption, this remarkable book offers renewed hope for even the most troubled marriages—and reveals why the rewards of restoration are well worth the wait.

Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages now has a book entitled, Love as a Way of Life Devotional. This book is a 90 day devotional which seeks to show God's love for us and encourages us to love others as God loves us. Human beings are selfish, self-centered, inwardly-focused creatures. It is impossible for us to truly love unconditionally and unselfishly because it's not in our nature to do so. Only by accepting and understanding God's love, and with His divine help, can we then love others, truly love them, as God intended. This devotional will demonstrate how to love and will movtivate your prayer life and spiritual growth to enable you to love others with God's perfect love. It's a companion to the book, Love as a Way of Life, which I will definitely be buying and reading as well!

This book is available here at www.amazon.com and other booksellers. Below is a summary from the publishers:

Summary: In his book Love As a Way of Life, best-selling author Gary Chapman shows readers how to cultivate a new lifestyle built around the seven characteristics of authentic love. Now in a companion devotional, he provides ninety inspirational readings to help Christians consistently live out the characteristics of love in every relationship.

Each devotional entry showcases biblical truths that guide a life of love, offering fresh insight and practical guidance in how to make love a lasting habit. Over the course of three months, readers will learn to follow God’s lead as they practice the characteristics of a loving person: kindness, patience, forgiveness, courtesy, humility, generosity, and honesty.

The Love As a Way of Life Devotional makes an ideal gift for the holidays or for any special occasion. Couples, parents, new graduates, and anyone celebrating a milestone in life will welcome this inspiring daily guide to richer, more satisfying relationships.